Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize