the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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