seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
