Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize