i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
