My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
