I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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