I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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