Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
