everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am full of burrito and curiosity
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
