just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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