Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
