I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
