You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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