I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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