You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
