Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
