im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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