he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
