he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize