he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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