all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She told me I should be a condom model.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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