:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
