i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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