dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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