I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
