sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize