..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize