actually, I'm a sock model
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
