I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
