When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
