Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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