Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
