you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
