member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
