thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
