He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
