is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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