a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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