that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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