fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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