You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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