i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
should my penis look like a turkey
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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