Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
