My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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