idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
