lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
