All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
did you just send me my own nude
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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