tell your sister to shave her snatch
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
