You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
