No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
