guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
