I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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