guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
