I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize