Yo dont text me then not text me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
