I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize