xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize