i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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