dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
