So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize