Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
