I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
