i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
