ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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