I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
