It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just had sex on a roof
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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