You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
