you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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